How to raise a child when two parents do not get along with one another



It can be very difficult and stressful when two parents are not getting along or are not in agreement about how to parent. This becomes more challenging with teenagers because they will quickly understand what is going on and will make every effort to use it to their advantage. In addition, it can be very hurtful for teenagers to witness their parents not getting along.

As you know, parenting can be very challenging and even more challenging when parents are not on the same page about rules, consequences and parenting in general. Even more challenging is when two parents are not getting along at all due to separation, divorce or other stressors in the relationship. Generally in these situations, emotions are high and parents are hurt, angry, frustrated, sad or any number of other difficult emotions. Despite how difficult such situations are, it is critical that parents do not let their children witness their conflicts. I cannot tell you the number of children who I have seen for therapy who are emotionally damaged and extremely confused because their parents constantly argue and say negative, rude and disrespectful things about one another. I am not suggesting that it is easy to keep all of these emotions to oneself, however, these emotions should be shared with other adults or professionals and not with one's children.

Some tips for parenting if you are a parent in this situation:

1. Speaking with the other parent: if you know that you become easily emotionally charged when speaking with your child's other parent then it is important that you have these conversations when not in the presence of your child. It is never in a teenagers best interest to witness situations where parents become negative, yell, say negative things or become verbally abusive towards one another. The damage from this


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