How parents encourage their children to lie



truly more convenient to lie.

We rationalize that it saves the recipient from unnecessary pain or embarrassment or that it simplifies uncomfortable circumstances by minimizing the process of explaining one's point of view.

What's wrong with telling the truth?

It is the projection of how the other person is going to receive the information.

Isn't that really the case with dishonesty?

Are we not more concerned with the receipt of the information than the delivery? That is exactly the root of problem with our teens sharing the truth. They are hesitant because they don't want to deal with the reaction to the truth. Teens, like adults, lie for a number of reasons in an effort to avoid confrontation or evade a consequence imposed by their parents.

Let's identify four of the reasons we, as parents, encourage our kids to lie to us.

1: We Freak Out

No wonder the teen has chosen to go silent when their experience of telling the truth results in us launching off into ranting and raving about the ignorance and carelessness of their actions.

The knee-jerk reaction is to impose consequences or, at the very least, point out how they have made a gross error in judgment. Now, honestly, how excited would you be if every time you shared a new adventure with someone, they scoffed at you? There is a direct correlation between a strict parent or an overly opinionated parent and the degree of dishonesty they will receive from their budding teen.

I believe the overly strict parent, in a genuine effort to curb their teen's risk of making bad decisions, only fuel the fire. At this age, it is the job, the duty, of the teen to push their limits. They want to challenge their boundaries at every opportunity. It is the parent's role to establish clearly defined boundaries, based on rational


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