How to be an amazing parent



By having the parents reach a height of panic and anxiety that was as real as they could feel, it had a much more powerful affect when the fear is removed so quickly. I was then able to dismantle that feeling in a heartbeat.

It is so rewarding to see parents after this first session, which I fondly call "Imposing Sanctions". I have my brother in-law Keith to thank for that one by the way. This particular couple were even more joy to work with because they truly loved not only their daughter, but each other. Sometimes I'm faced with a couple that have lost the love they once had for each other, so then they communicate differently with the children, which can cause all sorts of problems. If a couple are not together on this it is very difficult to accomplish a complete turn around of bad behaviour by parents and children alike.

When they arrived back they had smiles on their faces which is always a good sign for me. They told me the child had reacted exactly as I had predicted. She had screamed loudly, thrown things around the house and ran away to her best friends place. However the best friends mum had done as Monica's parents asked and not allowed her to stay in their home. Once again I see these techniques bring success to parents.

Now a point here...

There is almost always one person, normally a female (sorry no disrespect meant) who for personal reasons feels the need to become mother Teresa the second. You know the one I mean. She is normally a single mother (nothing wrong with them by the way) who is in desperate need of love and attention herself.

She will be the one who no matter what a parent might tell her, knows best and will no matter what you tell her she can't do, will take your child in for the night. She gets off on it. She craves this feeling she gets when a child runs away from home only to find refuge in her house. It is real and there are women who believe they should do this.

I had warned this couple that if they had one of these in their community then their daughter would know who she was and go there. Sure enough their daughter knew about this woman and tried to enter but this couple had taken notes and remembered. Cleverly the parents had asked a close friend to go and see this woman that night, so you can imagine the feeling this 15 year-old girl had when she had exhausted all other places to go, only to discover her mothers best friend was there and demanded she leave at once. This woman was also able to explain to Mother Teresa the second that everything was going according to plan and there was no need for her to worry. Poor dear!!

The couple attended to every detail, they locked up their home like a fortress, turned off all the lights and went to bed. Sure they sat there worried, but they had each other to talk to and reassure that what they were doing was for the good of their child.

Now please remember this was a kid who knew her way around the streets, she was no angel of innocence. For the past two years she had broken away, put fear into her parents and walked the streets. However I was changing her little game. I had done this with hundreds of parents and when the parents carried out the plan to the letter it always worked. Always.

They told me just on 1.30am in the early morning they heard a knock on the back door and it was her. They remembered what to do. Both went to the door and didn't open it, but asked who was there. The daughter answered and the parent's job was to listen to her voice and make sure they heard something other than anger.

I didn't want them to see her, just listen to her voice first. The daughter was weeping, she had walked everywhere she could to seek shelter and friends but found no one. It was in the middle of winter and the child had run out in a fit of anger and didn't take any warm clothing. Well her parents go rid of everything remember!

How different was that to the times she had ran away and gloated to her friends about how she could do what she wanted to?


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