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How to be an amazing parent

Now that the three of us were in the middle of a heated debate and both parents were in a state of fear and dread I wanted to make sure they knew I was serious about sorting this mess out. So I finished off by telling them that if they didn't do as they were told I'd make sure the authorities found out from my report that they were both terrible parents.

The reaction was the same as all the rest, they stopped, looked pale and their breathing became intense, just like a panic attack. Now was the moment that would change their lives forever.

Unknown to them during our little heated debate the mother kept putting her left arm onto her chest and breathing shallow every time I suggested things she should be doing. The father was similar as his tummy was busy moving in and out at the thought of removing his daughter's bedroom door.

So I had the mother sit in my big black "magic chair". I call it magic because that's where the magic of change often happens. I had her tell me where she felt the dread and fear inside her and as expected it was in her chest. I had her close her eyes, see the image that helped her become afraid. Then I had her shrink that image smaller and smaller until it was the size of a "postage stamp", then blow it away. As she was doing that I had her rub her chest side ways across with her hand.

When she opened her eyes the fear had gone completely. I then did the same with the father and his result was the same, his fear had gone. Now I had sat in my office two parents with no fear at all. I have to do the same technique with every parent that brings in a child that has become out of control.

This I might add was the start of their change of view. Now with two parents who were not afraid anymore the task at hand became more manageable. They both listened to all the careful instructions and plans I had laid out for them both to do and they were to come back a week later.

Now you can see why I needed to have these parents truly feel and experience the pain they were going through at that moment. I cannot cure a phobia of spiders unless I have a spider to use to make sure the person really feels the emotion, even though you now know we make all these fears up by ourselves. I can't help someone overcome a fear of heights unless they make an attempt to be up high with me.

These parents began their conversation believing that Monica at 15 years of age was out of control and they didn't know how to stop it. It all became very painful emotionally and overcome with these made up emotions, the parents couldn't cope. Now they could understand their contribution to what didn't work before.

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