How to be an amazing parent



I didn't even have to see the child. It was the parents that needed more help, so here is what I told them to do. Now I already knew how they would react to what I was about to suggest in the way of new strategies, but I also knew that from years of doing it this way, it would give us the correct outcome.

I began by telling them that her bedroom door needed to be removed then all of her clothes had to go. Then any trinkets, other furniture and makeup, all had to go. They were to empty the child's room until all that was left was a mattress on the floor and her school uniform. They had to make sure all the rest was taken to another place.

While I was outlining this strategy the two parents were looking even more afraid than when they walked in. Then I told them to telephone all of their daughter's friend's parents and let them know that under no circumstances were they to allow their daughter in to their house if she was to run away again.

As I continued with my plan the mother couldn't cope any longer and had to interrupt. I was waiting for her. Imagine this, here is me jumping out of my chair and writing on the big whiteboard all the things we were going to do to their precious little baby!!!

The mother didn't disappoint me. Just like others before her she made attempts to let me know why they couldn't do what I was asking them to do. Even the father jumped in and said he thought the whole door thing was a little tough.

Now this happens every day in my office so you will have to forgive me for sounding a little tough here, but this always delivers the state of mind in the parents so I need to help them further.

I began to scream and shout at the top of my lungs at both of them. How dare you both tell me what you can and cannot do, what sort of parents are you anyway? Are you bad parents then, is that is? Do you hit her all the time? Do you give up on her because you can't get past your own feelings? Is that it? Are you hiding behind your own poor me attitude?

As I continued my rant I was in fact helping them get into a state of extreme fear and panic. Remember humans make up thoughts and emotions that produce behaviour. These parents with the help of Monica had created an entire state of chaos and through perceived fear couldn't parent the child.

Both parents began to defend and make excuses saying I was taking it too far and that the punishment didn't fit the crime. I was even more incensed than before. Now they were telling me that Monica, a 15 year-old girl who swears and abuses her family and drinks and smokes and stays out all night doesn't deserve any punishment. I hadn't even called it punishment, they did and the reason they called it punishment was because they couldn't bring themselves to do anything about it.


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