30 Commandments of parenting

or focused on their emotions, anger and resentment.

It is also important to set guidelines and expectations enforced by a rewards and consequences system. This can consist of simply rewards and incentives for good behavior, and consequences and corrective action for bad behavior. Make sure to be consistent in your parenting.

Be a good and positive example to your children. Children have many influences. We can be responsible and be an icon of positive influence to our children. It's important to understand that it is not only what we say that influences. Our vocalization is not the only message we send. Relaying our intended messages can be difficult. Most of the time, people need to make personal changes when they become a parent. They find themselves changing how they react to things or express opinions and feelings.

Always use communication. Be an active listener. This will enable you to be more effective and productive at being a parent and solving problems. This is when children learn and also when parents learn. It's very reciprocal. I found that my children teach me a lot about my parenting. It should be assertive and constructive communication. You shouldn't use criticism, contempt, aggressiveness or defensiveness. Passive-aggressiveness is also very counterproductive. Communication should be used for conflict resolution and problem solving. During communication, everyone should express their feelings openly.

Show you children respect and teach them to respect others. Just you showing them respect will automatically teach them to have respect for others. I know that when children are shown disrespect, they can learn to not respect themselves. If they don't have respect for themselves, it is likely that they will not have respect for others. I'm sure that we can all recall a situation where we were disrespected and lashed out at others because of it. It's the


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